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You don’t want a Roy Moore problem – though the fact you are a Democrat pretty much means you’re probably not going to regardless.Of course, this advice doesn’t apply if you are visiting, say, the Dominican Republic.For example, do not invite female staffers to your office for a late night meeting and show up wearing only your underwear. Also, they may be overcome by lust at your tighty-whitey’d rockin’ bod, and that can cause jealousy between them and the other members of your staff who are likewise filled with desire for you.It’s a burden, but take the risk of chafing and wear pants – for sake.Subtly imply that these fussy women should have shut their kissin’ holes and took one for the team by reiterating your support for icing babies, and then throw in a shot at the NRA for good measure.Yeah, the last couple months have been stressful for liberal men in positions of power, but just remember – these things blow over. The rules were never meant to apply to you, and pretty soon your fellow liberals will come back to their senses.Instead, you’ll want to describe how you are “friendly” and “a hugger,” and how you are sorry these misguided women took offense by misinterpreting your innocent gestures of support for them in their struggle against patriarchy.
And while youth correlates with vulnerability, be sure to check their IDs.It’s clear that many women are just begging you to text them shots of the Junior Senator even if they don’t actually say it, or hint at it, or want it.It’s harsh, but for the foreseeable future, you must deny the women of America these glorious snapshots of your majestic manly vistas. No matter how they subtly signal you that they want some sexy snaps, whether by briefly speaking politely to you or by existing, you must say, “No.” But if you do say, “Yes,” try to take them from a flattering angle with some good lighting.Now, it’s pretty clear that because you are a powerful liberal every woman wants you grabbing at her, but you can’t indulge them all.Remember, there is always the danger that some ungrateful woman might raise a fuss no matter how much she asks for it by posing in a photo next to you, or by sleeping peacefully nearby.
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